* bless of a lively ~angel~ *

我不願讓你一個人..

2012-01-15T01:27:00.002+08:00

有些话，无法说出口，可是歌却唱得很贴切。。

谢谢你，我都听到了。。很心疼的一首曲子，听了就会哭泣。。真的疼了。。

有些爱，是注定没有结果的。。有些人很认真的去爱，却不会属于我们。。

你曾安蔚自己，在这世界上，不是所有你要的东西，你就会得到。。

嗯，我想命运就是如此。。可悲，你爱的，不爱你，爱你的，你不爱！

便听这曲子，便哭的，我答应自己这是最后一次的哭泣，

也希望你也和我一样，哭过了，从此不许你再一个人。。你，最好要幸福！！

p.s. 你是个好男人，我没有这个福份。。

朋友们都结婚去了～

2012-01-14T23:02:00.006+08:00

小小的时候，虽然我不懂什么叫做婚姻，但是我懂结婚就是两个相爱人在一起，会到白头到老！

我一直都相信童话故事是会发生在人间的，所以常常都会去画些让人一看到就很想穿上的婚纱。。很可惜到最后却不是个婚纱设计师！但这一个纯真的相信直到长大后还是有。。

我一直都这么人为，每个女人都是公主；然而男人是王子，每一个人总有一天一定会找到他们注定那一位！我真的相信，只要相信，就会遇到。。虽然已经历了好几次的伤害，但那一颗已经破悴的心已然很坚定，傻吗？

就因为有童话般的相信，所以每当一个个好友结婚时，我都会有那一股冲动，感动的流泪。。我很感动她们终于找到自己的王子，那是可遇不可求的幸福！为她们开心，也忠心祝福我很爱的她们！

最近，有一个好友才嫁人去了。。我们在台上为她唱这首“分享”的歌时，都在台上哭得不能自己。。说真的，很不舍得嫁得离我们远远的。。很心疼。。尤其是当她和她家人告别时，我们都哭了。。也情不自禁的流了好多好多的泪，把自己当成是她一样的伤心，要永远离开最亲的爸妈，离开自小的那一个家！

那时候的我很有感触，在想，做女人真的好苦，如果不够坚强，就会以泪洗脸。。女人，为了要与相爱的人在一起，却要面对着离开一直以来都很爱我们的家人。。很残忍！是谁定下了这一个在大喜之日，却又很感伤的局面？看到这个局面，看到朋友结婚就会哭的人，以后如果真的会有嫁人的一天，我会是个最好哭的新娘。。想到就很心疼！我想，身为妈妈的真的会很不舍得，很好心疼。。我要改变要有女儿的想法了，我不能一次次的去承受这样的苦！有得选，就好！

结婚，对认真的人来说，是件终生大事，是需要极大的勇气去做决定啊！生活中，很多时候，很多事情都由不得我们去选择，唯有自己的王子、公主可以是自己选的。。虽然说茫茫人海中，我们的选择的确多了，但还是须要命运的安排赐良缘！我一直都很相信缘份。。如果不是，我们的肉眼是不会让我们遇见属于我们真正的另一半！

我，很佩服朋友们的勇气。。因为一直以来我就只有相信，却不敢有任何的勇气。。是我受拙了很多，或是那一个他还没有出现？如果他是真的，那么就会有那么的一天，他会给予你那一股勇气去做那样的大决定。。未来是个未知数，我现在tumpang朋友们的HAPPY就很好！祝福我爱的姐妹们，也祝福自己，嘻！

这首歌唱出了心声，我，不在你心里。。

p.s.真正疼爱你的人是不会让你伤心流泪的，然而女人就是只会为她们真正爱上的人落泪。。随缘就好，太多的眼泪很伤身！真的要好好修一修那一颗破烂的心，重新像她们一样得到上帝的良缘！

Christmas is all about blessing! Why?

2011-12-16T16:39:00.008+08:00

It is a day of remembering our dear Lord Jesus Christ! Ever since HE was born, we were all saved and blessed! So the whole of the December month is always the lovely month that coupled with sweet and joyful Christmas carols and fun filled decorations of trees and gift and most importantly it is a blessing month for all!

It’s a season of thankful and being blessed. It’s the carols that comfort and ease every hearts! So I really love listening to Christmas carols! It feels like you are being showered in the joy and it’s never ending joys!!

“Ho ho ho.. Santa Clause is coming to town …” the other day, one of my friend was asking me how if Santa grant you a wish on Christmas and what would it be yours? Ahh, I think for a second, without hesitation and say I would like to ask Santa to sponsor me a trip back to my home for CNY! Hehh, was I sound weird? What? During Christmas season and I’m making a wish to go back for CNY on the next month? Yes, as I couldn’t make it to go home for this time Christmas, it’s sad. Time and financial concerns wont allowed me to do so. In the other hand, I would like to take this opportunity to really celebrate Christmas here since it might be my very last Christmas here before I’m moving away permanently. So I got no complain. Hence to know that I could be able to go back for CNY is good enough. Unfortunately, transportation to go back is one of the big headache. Thus, I got such little wish on this Christmas!

After all, I m not too greedy isn’t it? and guess what? The very few next days, my wish was granted! I told my friend and he don’t kinda believe it! haha, he asked me, are you sure Santa has given you your wish? I said yes yes!! I always know when you have a heart that believes and you will get the blessing! =) I believe that Santa has told my darling about this and he is sending him here to give me a free ride to go home for CNY! How nice and sweet?

Other than the wish above, I’m blessed additional “gift” on this Christmas too! First, it’s the good news that he has found the alternative way to cure his sickness instead of going thru a surgery that worried most of us! Secondly, when I thought I would be alone on this Christmas, and he is making it to come back for our very 1st Christmas here! (basically it’s just not at hometown) To know that your love one would be back to be together with you on this blessing season, isn’t it feels warm? Haaaa.. I’m so happy and thanks Santa for those additional wishes that prayed inside my heart!

So, really, blessing it doesn't need to be wrapped in a nicely gift box or being spent by a huge amount of money. A simple act of love could be a worthwhile one and being appreciated. I do really love my Christmas gift this year! So, what is your wish or what is the gift that you want from a Santa Clause? Should you tell/asked and believe like I do?

Ps. Wishing on something and believing that you are getting it and you will! =) Be merry, everyone!!

我很忙

2011-12-12T10:01:00.004+08:00

A-Lin - 我很忙 MV ~~~~作詞：鄔裕康作曲：施佳陽
不需要假期
我沒地方可去
不需要狂歡
人群只是空虛
多數的關心
只是嘴上說說而已
真正懂我的人是自己

我的眼睛一作夢就看到你
一閉上就想哭泣
笑容忽然間變成奢侈品
我的生活
充滿了和你有關的記憶
每每靠近
滿城風雨

就讓我忙的瘋掉
忙的累倒
連哭的時間都沒有最好
就讓我忙的忘掉
你的懷抱
他曾帶給我的美好
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊
完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

我的眼睛一作夢就看到你
一閉上就想哭泣
笑容忽然間變成奢侈品
你在哪裡
曾是每天要問你的一句
我要戒斷
這種關心

就讓我忙的瘋掉
忙的累倒
連哭的時間都沒有最好
就讓我忙的忘掉
你的懷抱
他曾帶給我的美好
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的話
話完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

當一個麻痺的人
哪有多好
心裡沒別的只有忙忙忙
工作是一種抵抗
一帖解藥
人怎能被想念打倒
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊
完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

p.s. something that word alone couldn't be explained much; ironically all the inner feeling can be sang by a song!!Y.Y

Give & Take

2011-12-01T17:59:00.002+08:00

How to define the give and take in a relationship?

Guy’s version of give:
He cater her daily needs as of food, shelter, entertainment, transport and so on
All he can do is just dealing with money and he really thought money could satisfy a girl’s need and he thinks that girl should really satisfy with what has been provided by not complaining any.

Guy’s version of take:
He is looking for understanding, trust and respect from his girl.
He needs all that from the girl so that only he could really concentrate on his career!

Gal’s version of give:
She will do all the sweet stuffs like greet and hug him while meeting up with him, kiss morning before she goes to work and kiss goodnight before she off to bed, cook whenever she can (but she never expects him to abandon her cooking!), hold his hand whenever in the car or at the public, make lovely card and some special gift for their important days. She remembers all the important days of them and care to spend time together.

Gal’s version of take:
She needs lot of attention, companion, loving care and tender love. Money alone couldn’t buy heart that really loves! She needs a smile and a comfort hug while she is down from unhappy stuffs. She needs a pair of ears that listen and a general heart to accept her as she is.

Unfortunately the give and take didn’t always co-exist as expected. It’s so difficult to reach a compromise for the two persons that don’t really understand each other’s need! To live a life together can never be easy neither shall I say to find a soulmate that really click?

p.s. However nothing is easy, if you really love a person, you get to change yourself first before you demand others to change for you. It is equally applied to this quote: “you shall love yourself before someone else could love you too!” and this, you gained respect from others by you respecting them in the first place. We are all living in a community that we couldn’t survive alone, so learn to coat yourself with the culture of give and take, to make the living in among human, much more easy and simple!

Love the one of your chosen one!

Group-on special ~

2011-11-09T23:12:00.004+08:00

It’s on current trend that online vouchers like groupon, everyday deal and etc are hot in the internet world. First it is so convenient and second it gives you to plan out your budget before heading to some kickass restaurants and ofcourse there are few more good reasons on buying these vouchers but I am not going to waste more time on promoting them. =P However I personally like this concept very much!

Been browsing through the online vouchers for some time already and today, I was shocked that I have came across this special wedding proposal on Groupon! (hey, it’s not for me anyway!) But really OMG!! Haha, I just tumpang surprised and tumpang happy! He such a great romance and thoughtful guy and he should deserves gold medal award! I never know Groupon can be of such a place for sweet stuff to be held at! It’s truly amazing and that guy asked for support by us who is seeing this ads to buy the “deal” at no cost! Hence I was one of the supporter after reading the whole long and touching contents of the “groupon proposal”! It’s the effort that count and congrats to this couple. May them living blissfully ever after! (Hey u see, fairy tale do happens!)

Pls look at the link, it’s creative indeed! http://www.groupsmore.com/cities/selangor/deals/loke-hing-seong--2

I believe I may not be the only one who is crying reading this cause gals can easily be touched by surprises! See, we even cried for others’ surprises! There is a saying: “Gals are made of water after all!”

p.s. By seeing all those romantic and touching clips online, I’ve realized that guys nowadays are more open minded and can come up all sort of funny ideas and thoughtful surprises for their gals! It’s a good sign, guys here u go! *bravo*

Gals, only the right guy will make you a great surprise; while a “not-right” guy will only bring you heart-attacked surprises! So, gals u choose your “surprises”! =)

没有面包的爱情，还要吗?

2011-11-01T00:24:00.009+08:00

理智的人，会选择面包；

感性的人，会选择爱情。

如果有得选择，我相信每个人都会要有面包的爱情！

只因有爱情的面包不会出现，

天上不会掉钱，天下也没有免费的无餐。。

爱情，不能只是饮水饱！

更何况现在的水也不便宜。。

"他很爱她！她也爱着他！他们其实都很相爱。。

只是生活是现实的，一般上的人都会为了钱而苦脑，然而讲钱真的很伤感情。。
他们学历不高，所以他们所能赚到的并不多,
但他们懂得爱情!
可是再懂爱情的人们，如果没有面包，也会把爱情给搞杂。。
他总以为他那无私的爱与关怀，足够让她幸福一辈子，
却忘了，如果下雨了没有一把伞，
天冷了没有寒衣，
肚俄了没吃的，怎么办？？
他或许能给的就只有衣食住行，
然而她要的是能够有多余的钱，好让她可以回去与久韦的家人同聚！
她的愿望，不难实现，只是他能力有限！"

从小，就看到许多穷人家的故事，自己也曾在很困穷的环境中长大，看到他们，我深感悲哀！

更同情的是，他们的小孩该怎么长大？

那一种生活，太可怕，幼龄时期就要为钱财担心，那幼小的心灵要去承受，或许太重了吧？

我还是感恩我们伟大的父母，省吃检用的只是为了给们取暖，也从不把我们饿坏。。更感谢没有因为困难而把我们丢掉，也不放弃爱情，让我们都能在一个幸福的小康之家成长！

然而，他们会不会也是个伟大的父母呢？

我希望，我就只能为他们祈祷，希望他们会自己的小家庭负责任！

没有面包的爱情，已经不能再说要与不要了，只能问，还能生存吗？

如果没有了面包，怎能保着那可贵的生命？如果生命都不保，那哪来的爱情啊？

他曾经对我说过，一个男人有钱没钱，并不重要，最重要的是他会是疼你的那个人！
那一句话，我听了，也算了，如果有个男人可以真心的疼我，是上天赐予的福，但是如果他没有钱，怎么证明他有多疼我？
不是我现实，而是我已经长大了。。明了活在这样的世界，是不可能有童话的！

朋有们都说，我就像童话中的公主，常盼着有美好的爱情，完美的童话。。
我地确从来没有放弃过那一个美梦，
只是自小，曾经所受过的苦，已经告诉我，童话是种娱乐，是让人累了，又有个美好的理由安蔚自己而已！
所以那样的美梦，我从不追随。。这样美的梦，只留在梦中，也只会在电视机上播放。。
也因为那样，所以每当有人说：“我想嫁个王子！”时，就有人回应：“你别在做梦了！”嘻！！

可是如果有那么的一天，你真的是嫁给了王子，你是否会质疑你在梦中了呢？哈。。

p.s. 我要面包，也要爱情！不要说我贪心，这是需要，也是活着的意义！

祝福他们，也祝福每个人都会找到自己的“童话”！

有没有一双眼会把我们带到未来？

2011-10-26T00:40:00.001+08:00

什么是未来？未来真的是个未知数吗？

未来是用双手打拼出来的，

若果一失足，未来就会变了样！

如果有 “short cut”，我相信没有人愿意走更长远的路。。

如果有双眼睛能够让我们看到很明确的未来，

或许，就算再长的路，都不算长，也不会走到更多的冤妄路。。

没有十全十美的人；

只有完美的思想！

当你可以做到99分的时候，

别人依然会怪你，怎么只有那么的1分，你就是做不到？

他人会怪你没做到100分，却从不去理会，你已经尽力了！

有时候做人真的很累。。

你真的不可能只为了自己而活！

那一颗坚持的心，真的会被那些冷言冷语伤得很。。

旦愿我会是个超人，

永远不会累，

做事做到最完美无缺！

如果，你没有看到我的努力，

请你不要否认我真的是有努力过。。

我，还持着那一股勇往直前的勇气！

请留下空间让我自己走，

也留下我该拥有的尊严！

p.s.我知足，也很感恩，但我还是很悲伤我的无能！

Inspirational gain!

2011-10-20T17:03:00.004+08:00

" a poor man who really loves you, won't starve you to death;

while a rich man who don't really cares will definitely breaks your heart for the rest of your life!"

Flying off..

2011-10-19T00:42:00.004+08:00

I used to dislike people leaving off, especially from me..

I used to think that the one who stay must be suffering more than the one who are leaving;

And now I started to hate myself for flying off and leaving my love ones behind..

It never feels good!

I’m so sorry if I ever blame you for leaving..

Now, I’ve finally realized that we will never understand others situation until we have put ourselves into their shoes.

Nowadays, my parents used to be the ones to send me off at the airport or at the bus station, And whenever I saw them waving hand on me and saying goodbye and my heart started crying in silence! I waved at them with full strength but inside me was attached with a weak soul to carry out the strength to wave! It’s sad, very sad to leave them both behind. I believe that they are sad too! :'( Even worse, I got so many people there in the island to be missed about, how can I do this all alone here at the different land and under the different sky?

Although the distance is so near but yet it seems so far. However, it’s too costly to travel back that often! How not to be sad and what so to be excited about while the frequency to see them become less?

I’ve always asked for the freedom I wanted and now they have given me and it seems too much for me right now. Yes, I’m a soul that haunt for lots and lots of freedom and I’ve got my own choice of pick as always but then I never wanted to be alone! That’s so scary! I thank my parents for being so understanding and letting me to pursue my dream out there. I appreciate their care and thought and scarification very much yet I feel so reluctantly to leave. But I am always strong in front of them, and I never ever really tell them, yes I’ve always missed them, missed home, and missed the island! I’ve to be so independent in front of them to minimize their worries toward me. It’s kind of a tough task to me as I can never be so independent yet I’ve survived all these years. I believe that is god’s strength that keeping me up! Once again, my parents have hand me the decision key but I never good at making decision, to be exact, I never really have the courage to go for what I've always wanted without thinking of my love ones..

The island is so lovely is because of all of you people there, staying! I miss you guys real much! Once I’ve reach the other land and tears are so uncontrollably rolling off.. God, what is this suffering to do with me on my future? Why are you putting me in a situation such as this? I prayed in silence and I hope YOU can grant me wisdom to handle the thing that is out of my ability.

I miss the people on the island, dearly!! Especially you!

p.s. Don’t keep me guessing, if you love me, tell me..

Can u hear my heart crying ? Y.Y

2011-10-15T01:31:00.006+08:00

It’s never easy..

To overcome a night like this is never easy!

When things happened as of the previous way, it feels like living under the past shadow, once again.

There is a saying that we should learn from our past but it never taught us how to leave our past behind?

The unease heart speaks louder than the brain that calms heart.

I’m in serious pain!

It’s the commitment and promises that make the heart bleeds even more.

It’s the faith that makes it become so real yet it’s not true.

It’s the innocent soul that believes it could be better this time.

Yet it’s the mindset that cheating over and over again that everything is just right into place.

It’s the pure heart that still hoping for the fairytales story to happen in real life.

It’s the stupidity that makes the heart hurts once more.

After all, it’s the faithful belief that causes the tears rolling off from the eyes that don’t really SEE!

p.s. May god heal the rotten wound and the sin be washed away by your sacred hand.

May the eyes stop crying and may the heart & soul rest in peace, today onwards!

還是要幸福 !

2011-10-14T22:28:00.001+08:00

還是要幸福田馥甄

曲：張簡君偉詞：徐世珍/司魚編曲：盧家宏、JerryC

不確定就別親吻感情很容易毀了一個人
一個人若不夠狠愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍

你留下來的垃圾我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕別跟著我銘心刻骨

你還是要幸福我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據你的篇幅
明天開始這一切都結束

還我鑰匙的備份我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕別跟著我銘心刻骨

你還是要幸福我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據你的篇幅
明天開始這一切都結束

你還是要幸福你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕別跟著我銘心刻骨

你如果很幸福半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了容身之處我也能有最純粹的孤獨

最孤獨的孤獨

Words speak out of soul ~

2011-10-10T23:45:00.006+08:00

How can U say yes to someone who is not your boyfriend but someone who loves you tender?

Ehem, this sound like a proposal!

Yes, but no, it isn’t a very proper one, so it is not.

Worse part, it doesn’t come from the one who supposed to do it but from some unexpected ones. Yes, this is the second informal “proposal” of the year and from different person and I’m shocked!? *W.o.W* Is it because of our age concern that causes people instead of asked you to be their gf but they were asking to be their wife? *scratch head* How serious do these people treating L.O.V.E as?

Deep down inside, neither us are serious about the "joke" of the day but then I m clearly awaken with my current status, this just could not be so right! I’m no longer a teenager and why wouldn’t it happens 10 years ago while I’m still very naïve on love? Too bad, timing not right!

Sometimes, we met the right person at the very wrong timing; while some met at the right time but to a wrong person. How pathetic? It felt a bit hurt the last time but then it never kills! Perhaps I’m of a better someone now and learnt from my past. It hurts no more.

But hey thanks for the truly sweet words that raise me to cloud9 and it helps to move forward life! Life never goes backward. The only thing we can do is to build for a better tomorrow!

p.s. sweet words are like desserts, they melt heart & soul but you just couldn’t taste it that often for god sake you will get diabetic!

一段漫长而又让人哭泣的路!

2011-09-27T19:05:00.002+08:00

已经不是第一次的经过那儿，

我想我也该习贯那离离合合的场面。。

可惜女人的心却是水做的，

他每一次的离开，我都好不舍得，好难过的流出心中的泪。。

我，是真的很不舍得！

总是压愈心中的不舍，不敢开口，我是真的好爱你！

连句拥抱都不敢开口，我怎么啦？

然而，

每一个拥抱，都好想哭，因为知道下一秒，你将会离开；

每一次爱哭的眼都不感让你看到，因为不想你也跟着一起难过！

虽然知道还有下一次的合聚，

可是在怎么安蔚自己，都不行，还是特别的难过！

由其是，每当我是那个送走他的那个人，

眼泪会更是没有规矩的，大颗大颗的落下。。

那个一个人从机场空车的回家路上，很悲伤，很漫长！

那个会让人失控哭泣的“回家”路，真的好难走。。

那个空楼并不是我的家。。

我，好想回家，回去与我爱的及爱我人在一起！

在这里，

没有一个角落可以容纳那一颗幼小的心，

没有一处地方可以让我有归属感！

离乡背景已经有五年之久了，

叫我怎么能够不想念？

离开家，真的很不好受，

游子的路上有多么的坎坷。。

如果以前不那么执着，

或许我们不用被距离隔着；

如果故事可以改写，

我宁愿选择快乐！

我好想念你，以及您们。。

人，不可能会在这世上永远的兜留着，

如果，早一点看破世事，

我会懂得更珍惜！

希望一切都不会太迟。。

p.s.这段让人哭泣的道路，到低还要走多久才会停？

长大了

2011-09-21T23:54:00.003+08:00

人，长大了，就无法再任性。。

长大了，就不能说你要什么，哭，你就会得到！

因为长大了，所要求的东东比小时候来的够力，

所以并不是你所要的，别人就该给你..

有的事情,还是得去自己去做,去争取的好!

有些人,有些话；

虽然很伤人, 但是人,长大了,

就必须去学会承受些这点点的委屈。

哭了以后, 更懂得坚强；

跌到了，就该重新站起来！

哭，

并不是小孩的专有，

其实当真正懂事了以后，哭会变得更多，

不同的是，我们不再在大众面前哭。。

或许，

我该说的不是哭，而是流泪了。。

心灵累了，眼泪很自然的就会流出。

世事难如愿，

要知道，越是在乎，越是伤感；

因为没有在乎，没有感觉的，那来的伤悲？

长大了，

不仅此要努力去争取自己所爱的；

同时也要懂去放下那些不该执着的！

长大了，

就有能力去给于自己幸福的力量，

自己要的幸福，不靠他人！

如果真的有那么的一天，

有个人能够把你像个小孩般的疼爱，

那是上天赐于的祝福！

因为仅管你已是个大人了，

在那个人心里，他清楚的知道你不是个小孩，

但他永远拥有个想要呵护你的心，

那就足够你跟他一辈子了！

p.s.

小时候的我们，都可以开开心心的在父母的爱护中喜悦着长大；

然而长大了以后，我们在寻寻觅觅中就只不过是要找到那一个可以相依偎护的肩膀！

那是一种福气，不是你要争取就所能得到的福气。。

God's speaking..

2011-09-14T15:43:00.003+08:00

I think god has spoken to me on yesterday night!

Incident was inspired by a huge dark old cockroach that was flying weakly around the corner of my room and yes that happened in the middle of the night while I’m supposed to sleep.

For those who are really close to me will know that when it comes to this thing called cockroach, and that would be the end of my world! Yes, I’m deathly scared of this little yet disgusting creature!

At that moment, I’ve stupidly gone to make an S.O.S call that make me look even more stupid-est than before. Since no one else can help during call and there is no one else physically there also and while I was so fuck afraid at that time and all I wanted to do is to kill the little silly thing to ease my uneasy heart!

So here the only one thing that I can really rely on is Jesus! I kept on praying that the cockroach don’t fly towards me and keep searching and spotting for it and at the very right time I’ve just putted a very heavy hit on that unwanted creature!

After a hit of few times and it was still managed to move a bit and this time really pissed me off and I kept hitting on it until it has become all flatted! This time I make sure it really dies and I can have a good night sleep. Why la suddenly I have become so bravo a girl?

Although it has died there yet I don’t feel good at all. The “body” still being there, and the timid me not even dare to open up the newspaper and to throw that little thing away. Suddenly the bravo feeling has all gone. That’s how sad to stay home alone =’(

I remembered there is one time at the mid night as well, me and brother saw the cockroach and both shouting at each and running over the house until our mom has awake and see what is happening. After that mom sort of saying this to me, : “ how are you going to survive alone without us?” Yesterday, I’ve totally miss mom and home so much that I went to bed with tears and fear inside me. I just hate to be alone!

I’ve committed my night to the prayer. That’s really the one thing I can do. God has spoken to me that : “I will granted you the courage to protect yourself when you’re in fear! So don’t be afraid of anything. Human can do great when they are in dangerous and to do self-protection and I’m with you, all the time.”

The other message from HIM, that is “Some people though they said they care but in fact they don’t really have the heart to care about every single thing. They are too busy to care about your feeling while they have theirs to cope. Forgive them. Though you’re disappointed yet nobody is responsible for your own happiness. Don’t blame and just walked off. You gotta work it out for your own happiness. So for now, I’ve guided you the way you supposed to go and you go choice for your happiness. To learn to love yourself first before you want others to love you!”

Those phrases above really clear part of my doubt as I’ve been praying for this for so long and finally I get to see some. I hope to hear from FATHER soon in the coming days as I would really wanted to be a doubt-free person. After all, I'm not a good decision maker!

And thanks for the reminded from the prince of a cup of warm water to calm the uneasy heart before going to bed. (that’s a very useful tip!)

p.s. Ironically the cockroach has died and heart is dying too.

时间长与短，并不能证明爱情是真的!

2011-08-13T11:09:00.002+08:00

爱情不是用时间的长短来衡量的。。

爱情是用真心去证明它的存在!

有些才刚开始没几个月的爱情，就算有多甜蜜，多认真，都被他人认为这只是个短暂的幸福而已。。

难道不是拥有好的开始，就是属于成功的一半吗？

然而，那些已在爱情长跑数年的恋人，才会被人们承任，那爱情的所在！

事情是这样子的吗？

本人认为，不是的！

我站在这里，看到了她那幸福的笑容，她的爱情属实，我的确觉得他们会很幸福，更祝福他们永远幸福美满！

好的爱情，总是迟到！

她的爱情更是比别人迟来了，可是她的幸福却没有比任何恋人的少，甚至更加幸福！

就因为爱情来迟了，他们都很珍惜彼此！（还好他们在遇到彼此时都还单身！）

太早的爱情，让人爱得遍体鳞伤，真的好累，甚至可怕的阴影，影向未来。。

也因为太早跌伤，我们学得更多，更懂得保护自己，然而也开始不相信爱情。。

来得不早也不迟的爱情，让人觉得刚刚好，时机对了，人也对了，就会幸福美满！

迟来的爱情，总是让人有种遗憾美！

如果已经娶嫁了，那就恨嫁太早。。

如果，还是一个人，那个他就是她的幸福！

好的东西总是要在后头才出现。。

所以，我们都嫁给了最后的那一位，不是吗？

但是不是每一个的最后一个他是好的。。然而，在要娶嫁之前，真的要慎重的考量一翻！

但愿上天赐良缘，奢奢哀求，就只希望他可以是那个最后一位对的人！

后语：

我的爱情里，有没有迟到的那一个他？

他会不会来？会不会到？会不会出现？

然而这个他，会不会是那一个已经等到的最后一个？

我只能默默然的希望他是。。

开始对婚姻有种恐惧感，证明我已经长大了！

没有再像从前那样，盲目的想要嫁给那个人。。

现在，我要的是。。

那个认真，忠诚，真实而不虚为的，尊重承诺的，对爱情执着，能够给予安全感的那一个他！

可以吗？

有没有一双眼镜，可以让我真正的去确定那一个对的人？？

当心情很低弱的时候，有没有一颗糖，可以带走心中的苦？！

On a random night, like tonight!

2011-07-27T01:02:00.002+08:00

No doubt, I’ve been away for more than a month time, away from the blogging heaven I used to drop by, away from the habit of jotting down dots of life, away from my inner feeling, and yes all because of my hectic exam schedules that I really couldn’t find any precious moment to drop by my little space here.

Oh well, finally everything has been settled down, perhaps the toughest part is done! I thought I could be freed from mentally tortured yet I’m wrong! In fact, there are a lot out there for me to worry about. Pressure never ends there. One of the reason I’m back here, it’s obvious! *speechless* (yet lots of thing to be expressed) I used to be a verbally active one, yet speech sometimes could just do limited, words could do more of an expression, that’s why I like to write, so much since little!

On a night like this, suddenly I recalled about you. It's been ages! I’m wondering have you ever dropped by since the day you’re gone? Sometimes, it’s the experience that we went through and we learned to see from different angle and see goods in others. I felt so sorry but whatever that has been done, I couldn’t erase. I’m sorry! I’m just so sorry to you that I hope for your forgiveness, really.

God is fair enough, I hope you are living a good life now. Perhaps that is never my wish to get lost in touch with you but why would a world so small yet I couldn’t met you on a same small planet that they said? It’s kinda sad to have lost someone who can hear your soul’s talking. My bad; my lost and it’s hurt a bit.

I still feel like apologizing, to you. I’m so sorry when I’m being hurt and I understand the feeling of you being hurt too. When I’m being helpless, and I remembered I’ve left to somewhere else without looking back. When I’m being in ignorance and I remembered how I’ve ignore you in the past. Sorry, I truly understand how it hurts now. That’s my very bad. I’m asking for forgiveness! They said this is a “karma”, how true?

How many next life more to go? If I couldn’t have met you again on this life, then I’m afraid to think about next life, especially there is only have one life in Christ. I’m afraid to think more. I wish silently that my phone will ring like the custom calls! It’s a fool, isn’t it?

p.s. if you ever pass by, please do drop me some lines, everything still remain intact! God’s blessing upon you, all the time.

没那么简单!

2011-06-23T02:19:00.001+08:00

p.s. :'(

I'm in need ..

2011-06-14T16:44:00.005+08:00

.. of inner peace!

I really never wanted to go back to the past! Please let me go, I asked Jesus to, let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go of my inner fear.. please heal me in one piece!

Perhaps not at this moment, no No and NO!

When history recalled, it's like a tsunami attacked deep down inside. How would a human get rid of an emotionally tense? How can i be set free?

Word alone could kill a million. It's the unbearable pain that make life so bitter and fck up! It's already so heavy on my shoulder yet it add on further when I'm asking for more positive returns.

p.s. if i ever have a chance to meet u again, i wish i could bitch slaps u as hard as i like to release all my hatred towards U! Damn evil! At the end of the day, why would i get to punish myself over your stupid ever mistake created? In turn of that i'm guilty of accusing the other innocent person. wtf*

I silently wish, there is no more salt added to my wound, i beg for yr merciness Y.Y

I couldn't carry a weak heart & soul to the battle

I wanna go get my victory back,

Please let me...

It's gonna expired soon!

2011-05-29T09:29:00.003+08:00

couldn't get rid of the myth?

i'm afraid it expired real soon!

Only the right one will break the myth and destroy the misery..

I don't have to pray hard for u'r the right one,

If it is you, then it is.

p.s. not everything see by eyes that make the judgment but it's the heart that feels make the conclusion!

Trust HIM and he will lessen up the burden!

2011-04-06T13:04:00.005+08:00

No doubt I’ve been disappearing for so long ever since my last entry. I was so tempted to jot down a few here but below are the reasons why..

… the surgery (minor one) was went well all the way. I’m so glad to have an experience surgeon on my ever 1st case of operation yet she is an arrogant one! It was not as scary as what I’ve expected. It was more like a dream as they put me asleep and the moment I wake up, everything is done!

I remember the moment I was waiting for my turn, I was like hell scare as if its gonna take my life away, but no! At the very panic moment, I manage to calm myself and remember to pray to Jesus, I asked him to be with me so that I don’t have to scare so much! The feeling of going into the operating theater is like going to the exam hall! How would my life been surrounded by this kind of feeling? To be frank, I’m scared! At that very critical moment I just knew that I need HIS hand, HIS sacred hand to save me away from my poor health condition. I was to have faith on HIM and my surgeon and I can do nothing best in there except to be calm.

And yes, I was finally calm and in a very short moment everything was done and the report was not bad yet it couldn’t be assured that I would be all fine in the coming days. That’s shattered my heart a little, why couldn't I get rid of this little evil? Anyway, doctor said a phrase: “If you are facing an accident today and who will guarantee you will not met another accident again the following days?”

Yes, she is very harsh doctor yet she is indeed true! Non of us could foresee what’s going to happen next (even the next second) Hence no point for me to keep worrying while I don’t know how long could I live up for, neither one of us could know, isn't it? I’m holding on the faith if I’m your child, YOU will definitely give me protection. If there is YOUR wish, and I will be seeing you soon or later. Finally I’m a lil bit close to the recovering stage of my health and I hope no more evil could attack since then. Lord Jesus, deep down inside I pray that YOU could heal me! :)

The thing that brought me a big relief on that day is when I walked out from the operation unit and I knew that my darling is waiting patiently outside! I was so glad that you're there for me at this very moment. I was pampered, a little pain on my body won't kill me but a loving care from you for sure will ease my every pain =) Thanks for staying back for the week to take good care of a "young sweet" patient such like me! *still cheecky*

p.s. Past your worriness for HIM and HE will lessen your burden. HE did, HE does and HE is doing still! Get well soon!

so Blue ~

2011-03-15T23:26:00.003+08:00

Weirdly, it's not Monday today, but I'm blue the whole day!

But hey, who say you only have to suffer from "blue" on Monday alone? yea, lame excuse, whatever, I'm nowhere close to cloud nine! But I'm still ALL - RIGHT!

At times like this, I miss my family from far! (this is because my parents doesn't have a 3G phone which I don't get to see them whenever I miss them), how sad? Additionally ofcuz I miss my cheeky dog to the max and I miss little goodboy - Mocha too! How could I miss so many people from the island? Yes, I know I'm kinda tired to carry alone, and I'm afraid to see them lesser and lesser as time passes by.

Since I miss Missoe & Mocha so much and I went for a pet shop nearby to see those puppies and have a near contact with them.(Just to ease my missing toward them) They are all so lovely but still Missoe & Mocha, both are the cutest ever! I wish so much I could own a little one as for my companion.. Yes I wish! But then reality don't allowed me to do so, so keep on dreaming then! I was hugging a pom pom just now in that shop. This pet shop's staff are all very friendly, they allowed me to hug and feed da pom pom (ofcuz with the food provided by da shop)! Omg so cute so cute creature on earth! I was there until they were about to close shop, then only I went home. How blue can I be today? I walked home with a very heavy heart. Every steps took me a long hour to complete. *sigh*

However,

Thanks to those people who talked to me. You guys did care a lot which I truly appreciate deep down inside. That's what a friend count for, when you are at your down side, then here they are! While I am in the middle of nowhere, you guys gave me the full support. I guess I already have the answer in heart, I should be brave, perhaps for my own good, I should be a bravo once. Beside appreciate a true story shared by a fren yesterday. His story do really encouraging me a lot. He was suffering at his very young age, he was near to the border of heaven and yet he is a very healthy person today. I'm touched! :) I guess I would be like him, if compare to him, my case is a peanut, so why would a peanut kill me in anyway, right?

Yes, God's blessing is upon me and darling is also all the time by my side, I will recover fast the soonest possible. Pray for everything into pieces. No evil and no damage.

p.s. too see those cute puppies reduce my stress-level; to talk to you guys ease my millions of worri-ness!

Last day..

2011-03-05T23:10:00.001+08:00

being part of the "quarter" of my life ~

(:

生日快樂

2011-02-25T00:10:00.001+08:00

生日快樂
作詞：胡如虹　作曲：馬奕強　編曲：陳偉/宋念宇

不管時間走了多遠　不管昨天明天　什麼叫做永遠
我只想要今天陪在你的身邊　為你唱一首歌　再靠近你一點

肩並著肩　臉貼著臉　就在這一瞬間　感覺愛在蔓延
我在你的胸前輕輕畫一個圈　祝福你的夢想　都實現

不需要流星出現　你可以閉上眼　映著燭光許下心願　一遍又一遍
當你一睜開雙眼　什麼都多一點　因為這是你的　Birthday

Repeat Above Once

看見你微笑的臉　那種幸福的畫面　好想能夠停住時間　多看你一眼
讓我再抱你一遍　再跟你說一遍　Let me be your birthday. Angel
因為這是你的　Birthday

Bitter mili - tears drop!

2011-02-24T01:16:00.006+08:00

Yea, got high expectation on stuff and that's why I felt so so disappointed and frustrated at times!

I guess, I'm heading to the wrong direction and I'm not on the right track. When mind don't reads heart and it will definitely breaks the heart apart! This is so not right. Somehow, I think I might really need some time to regain and think of what I'm really wanted for.

This is not the way thing should be. This is not working, at all. I've so much rejection at heart and why should I stay for the hatred? I hate to be the coward yet I had run out of my mind to behave in a proper manner.

I just wish to shout out loud that please :"don't cut me apart!"

p.s. I've so much stress inside, if u couldn't help, please stay away and make less burden! Life is too short to be filled by the bitter mili-tears drop! I'm just so tired with WTF!!

元宵节

2011-02-17T23:34:00.002+08:00

每一年的这一天，月亮肯定很圆亮，
我也一定会收到这位我很要好的朋友的祝福！
本人并不重视农历的生日，但是往往收到祝福时，心里是那么的感动。。

我很感激她把我放在她心中，
我们虽不常见面，但我们的友情是已被肯定的！
生命中能够让我拥有这样知心的朋友，我好幸运。

女人就与男人不一样，
女人都会把她们所注重的事与物都牢牢记在心中；
然而男人口中所说的在乎，早已不在心中，所以他们往往都忘记了他们所谓的在乎！

我还是不明白为何男女有差？
如果你是真的忘了，
我还是会心痛！

自从来了这个地方，几乎每一年的今天都要一个人过。。
什么中国情人节，什么农历生日，好像都每有真正的头入其中，
一个人也可一好好的过，可是平静的心不一定好过！

还好，今年，是她（还是单身的朋友）第二次与我一起渡过。。
我，并没有告诉她今天也是我的天，
所以我们并没有庆祝。
但是在我生日的当儿可以为别人做点事也算是集福吧！

我把她带到“许愿池”去丢柑。。
听说在元宵节，特别有效？
嘻，她很得意的把她所带来的柑丢向湖里去，
然后大大声的说出，今年她要找个如意郎君嫁了！
这次是我有生以来第一次看到人家抛柑嘞，我也好开心，虽然我不抛！（因为我遇见了！）
她高高兴兴的告诉我今年我会收到她的红炸弹！
我，诚心诚意的祝福她，希望她的愿望实现。

看到她，我知道自己应该知足了，我很幸运！
虽然，现在很痛苦，只要可以挨过这一关，未来是值得期待的。

p.s.

感谢上天在一年里，我有两次的许愿的机会！
还有要感恩妈妈的恩惠，没有她那一年的辛苦，就没有今天的我！
（我就是太“华人”，没有勇气向妈妈说声感恩的话。。唉！好希望她可以明了我那一颗爱在心里口难开的心得。。）

Surprises - L.O.V.E is in the AIR!

2011-02-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

Oh Dear,

U are bad! Yes, U'r very B.A.D!

However, my little apologize here for my previous post! =P again, blame on my patience! *s.o.r.r.y*

Sorry that I’ve scolding an innocent heart of yours so badly before I get to know the hidden surprise! My bad L I knew I’m bad at times, yet u’r generous enough to have tolerated me! Yes, you’re the man now =) I heart U!!

See, how happy was I with bunch of beautiful roses?

Although, a lot of people and my “mind” also says that buying roses are way too wasting money yet you could see beautiful flowers never fail to put a smile on a girl’s face! That’s the miracle! So, worth you spending a “little” (though I knew on Vday itself, flowers are never cheap) for your love one just to see her smile sweetly – just for you?

The roses are lovely, they are 12 in a bunch which means of "Be my steady"! (eh, u'r lucky enuf for them to pick the right meaning one! ^^) where are the 10 roses? LoL, I hope one day I could be qualified enough to have receive the honour! =P

Thank you Honey for the sweet surprise and you knew that I love it and I love you too!

Happy Valentine's Day to ALL! Love is in the air! Let's sing on!

p.s. U made my day and u break the curse! ;)

I don't know whether u love my wine or it suit u not, yet I hope it does! <3

Break into a mili-pieces!

2011-02-13T17:28:00.002+08:00

Initially I thought I could have something nice to write about on day like, today!

For God know why, I'm looking forward to this day for so long and when it arrives at the door step and everything seem different.

Blame on me. Actually I didn't expect much since the day I met my fate, I knew I shouldn't be expecting much, surprises won't come in just like that. Well, but then I stick close to my faith, perhaps something little to expect - perhaps we are still together, perhaps he could spare me a day of his, that is more than enough, yet he couldn't make it and my lilttle hope ruined!

I'm basically just wasting my whole damn evening waiting for an "attendance" to be appeared on my eyesight. My body is getting weak yet I'm very determined to make it a deal for tonight!

Yours precious hours left so limitedly for me yet U were to share with another person. I am not generous at all, perhaps, not for today!

p.s. I don't know how far we can go. It is just so imperfect and I'm sad!

Yes, it's a bad day, it don't save a soul~

爱她，就别选其它的。。

2011-01-26T22:38:00.001+08:00

最近，才发现一为很漂亮的朋友，失恋了。。其它的几为也是。。

与近来许多朋友都已结婚去了成真比！

可见有人结婚；有人却失恋；

我身为旁人，没有结婚，也不是失恋，

只是走运而已－至少这一次，我不再是受害者，也不是害人的那一位！＝〕

看见朋友的痛，我百感交激！

我不是路过的，而是过来人。。这样子的痛，叫人难耐！

每一段感情，都会有它交错点，一旦疏忽，就会破裂！

没有人是绝对的对与错，只有两个有心的人在铺救，每一个人都有责任。。

说串了，如果爱意已不在，那就好声好气说清楚，做个了段，从此各不相干！

最讨厌的事，是那一个，我们口口声声，死死都认为可以相信的爱人，选择了一脚蹋两船！

很贱人，很犯贱！

当会在同一个时间爱上两个人的时候，那不叫做真爱！

如果不是真爱，那何为不放手？

如果还爱着她，为何还要选择另外一个她？

到后来只有付出真心的人，在收拾那一颗已破烂的心。。

我心疼朋友的疼，那个负心汉跟新欢走人了。。

我了解她的泪，也了解那一颗要重新呼吸的心。。

有些阴影，不管拥有多大的勇气，就像一个迷宫，一辈子都走不出去。。

有些贱人，就是让人那么累！

希望，她的下一站，会是幸福的站。

给自己，也给有同感的人们的话：

时间是治好一切疮伤的良药，

如果阴影是个迷宫，就让我们用一辈子的时间去寻求出口！

只要遇到对的人，他就会帮你解迷，也从不让你失去方向。

p.s. 我的他，不放弃，我更要继须努力－感恩！

祝福你，朋友，加油！

三分拍

2011-01-12T08:54:00.001+08:00

歌詞

﹡站在旋轉舞臺聽著音樂節拍要我陪你跳舞逃不開
你的一切安排一舉一動等待快了慢了錯了都重來
我想我們大概不合拍你說不如分開到痛快
可是見不到你思念氾濫成災

1 23 45 6向左向右向後迷失方向的我沒醒來
忘了你的眼睛忘了幸福表情被你發現罵我不應該
我想我們大概不合拍你說不如分開到痛快
如果見不到你我也無法存在
轉啊轉啊轉啊轉回來愛情跳不出這三拍
男人要自由女人要依賴想離開又回來
轉啊轉啊轉啊三分拍和你一起跳到未來
現在才明白你有多可愛一輩子由你安排

﹡REPEAT

轉啊轉啊轉啊轉回來愛情跳不出這三拍
男人要自由女人要依賴想離開又回來
轉啊轉啊轉啊三分拍和你一起跳到未來
現在才明白你有多可愛離不開你就是愛

1 23 45 6向左向右向後迷戀你的方向不醒來
看著你的眼睛看著幸福表情每一步的愛情都精彩
我想我們永遠不分開你說白頭到老真愉快
貼近我的胸口一起跳到未來
啦啦啦

Happy New Year 2011!

2011-01-10T20:58:00.007+08:00

Time flies and it has already been a week from 1^st of January 2011! Due to the pack schedules and activities and so here’s my very first post for the year!

Come to New Year and everyone talked about resolution! So, what’s your resolution for the year? Mine, practically no changes for “almost” every year since I've started my Uni life! It’s not as if I never complete any of my resolutions but sometimes, something are meant to be continued… in short, I’ve resolved some of my resolutions of the year and it needed the same resolutions though for the following years but in the next highest level =) Hence, my resolutions could be continuing “annually” without the changes of the “substance”! hah =D Gladly to have said that 90% of my resolutions has been achieved throughout the year of 2010! Huge thanks to the good year of 2010! Thanks for the blessing and the good things and good people! *muacks*

Anyway, if there’s a will, there’s a way! I wish all aprosperous year ahead! Year 2011, I’m looking good on you! *winks*

ta da ~~ my new year gift cum EARLIER birthday gift!

To you, thanks for the sweet delicious pink stuff!

You know that I love it

and

U knew that I Love U too;)

(and thank you for 'injecting' lots of happiness into my life ever since u've appeared!)

p.s. I treasure every moment of my heart beats and I Hearts the people who loves me too! Life goes on no matter how's tough and rough it could be, life is a blessing! Amen!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

2010-12-29T17:44:00.002+08:00

p.s. song that touched every hearts during Christmas!

你太猖狂

2010-12-21T20:34:00.000+08:00

能约出来的人都约光
能吃得下的早已吃光
很用力谈笑比哭还绝望
怎么挨得到打烊

我以为痛苦可以分散
于是我忙到不能再忙
忙到忘记了洗掉你所有短讯
一字一巴打在我脸上

思念太猖狂一个冷不防
一想起你忙碌的生活变得空荡荡
对心事说谎把你想到多么的不堪
伟大的你还想我怎样

我以为工作能够疗伤
甚至恨不得病倒再算
没力气遐想谁知瘫痪在床上
越发渴望你就在身旁

思念太猖狂一个冷不防
一想起你忙碌的生活变得空荡荡
对心事说谎把你想到多么的不堪
伟大的你还想我怎样

你也太猖狂一个冷不防
睡到一半才觉醒疗伤先要哭一场
对世界说谎只把自己哄骗得更惨
想得到释放只有投降
想得到释放只有投降

p.s. right time, right moment, right song..

-ache-

2010-12-11T00:19:00.002+08:00

Recently,

neck pain, again, YES again! due to over-stress or old sickness back to visit? i'm doubt.

Other than neck pain, heartache too! T.T

Sorry C, if you're seeing this, i'm emo at times and could not be positive any longer but i assured i won't be forever a sad bum! Let me break for awhile before i could get WELL..

p.s. need to really ease all my painfulness before i could really proceed! *sigh*

I count this a blessing ~

2010-12-02T00:27:00.004+08:00

A simple LOVE..

Indeed it is! =)

There was this day that I’m hunger for crabs or perhaps should I say that I’m a crab’s lover, so I tell out loud for my wish and it came true!

Ah ha, no wonder there is a saying that applied to all guys to their gals, that is “your wish is my command!” Hence, you see I’m pampered to the “cloud 9”! *giggle*

At the mean time, I see this as a big scarification of him, because while he is allergic-ing towards the crabs yet he brought me there without my second nag! ^^ After all, my heart fell for him again, yes again! =) Sometimes, you do thing out of love and you don’t realize it, but it’s so sweet, so precious, and so priceless! After all the love & concern, what you care most is to merely put a smile on the face of your love ones. You’re showering me with lots of love without a single word and my heart is silently melting inside, just for you!

I appreciate the sweet effort made out of love. Thank you very much! I truly appreciate ;) I hope somehow, someday, somewhere, I could make a “surprise” in return that can stick close to your heart too.

p.s. I HEART U a lot now, and forever!

最珍貴的角落

2010-12-01T00:31:00.004+08:00

p.s. Just so into this song so so much! Particularly when I 1st listen to it, i've fall for it already! It's melting me heart just the way it is. I don't know why but I'm lovin it! =) *touching* It touched to da deepest of my heart, I feel like living with it, just every single day..

Thing that recalled the pain!

2010-11-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

I hate to say this but it recalls!

There was this moment, I picked up the small piece of thing and it brought back the bitter-sweet memories. It’s BITTER more than sweet, hence it’s really bitter or I should say it’s not sweet at all! I even felt so disgusting when recalled! Immediately after that I tore off the pieces and throw away! I just hate them to be in my life even though it is just a small piece of shit but it does have a big impact on me! It brings me back to my bitter past! *damn*

It was definitely one part of my life that I’m very much unwilling to recall. But only if I have the choices on hand! Yes, I hate to remind myself that I hate you so much!

…Since the day I let go, I forgive as well. However, once it hurts, it left a forever wound there! Thus, how could I forget such a pain in depth? It’s just so horrible and I can’t imagine how can I be treated in such a way? I was all been shattered apart! I’ve thrown away my pride! I’ve became a “YES” gal! I’ve became so not me and you’ve change my world upside down! At the end of the day, I got all the blame from you!...

Now that I’ve turn back and see myself a foolish last time. How can I be such a moron in the past? Indeed, I’ve made myself so blind that I couldn’t withdraw and drown! That’s how sad life could be. You’ve messed up my life, screwed me up and dragged me into hell! Frankly speaking, if it is not of all the peoples that love me stand by me and I wouldn’t be here, today! It’s true and you can imagine you’re such an evil ever in my life! I was lucky enough to get rid of you and manage to get up bit by bit and I’m proudly to say that I’m all fine now!

It’s a real night mare in my life and I thank god that it has already became a past! Lesson gained! There is a saying like this, it says that if god were to take away something in your life; HE will be granted you something back in return! That’s true, and that’s why we all live up with hopes in heart, isn’t it?

To all the peoples that love me, I’m blessed with your love and kindness! I’m very thankful and u guys will be remembered forever! To the one that hurts me, you don’t deserve any of my valuable time and I don’t hate you anymore. Wish u luck!

…and to the one I’m sorry with, thousand of apologizes!

p.s. God will mend your broken heart if you give him all your pieces!

God has something better for your life than what you left behind!

New ever stuff after quarter of my life!

2010-11-22T22:44:00.008+08:00

Yea, I’ve always been fancy about wearing spectacles!

Hence, for the every single damn year, I went for the eye check up and secretly hope that I’m “qualified” to wear one! However, it did not turn out to be good for years! So you can see my beautiful eyes still! (They say one!) LoL.. they opinioned that I’m good without eyewear, but I don’t care, I want one! *sorry*I believed that there’s another “beauty” in me with specs on!

So this year it couldn’t be any other exceptional year too. Last week during the public holiday, I went for the eye check up and I eagerly picked one 1^st before they are able to test my eyes! After that, the boss asked to have a look on my old specs. Huh? I was like, owh, sorry I don’t have one before *blush*. Hence there I went for the eye test and it seemed like all are just fine, inside me saying: “u better don’t be too FINE”!

Ah ha, guess what, I’m qualified this time though my myopia power is only 50 on one side and the other 75! Anyway I’m happy enough! Thank god for granting good eyes but still a pretty good excuse to wear the specs! *grins – jumping jumping* Though the boss didn’t suggest me to have one but also never deny me to get one, thus, I have my very own one now! I heard they said if you are suffering from myopia, then u better wear specs else it would become worse? Anyway I hope the power maintained. As I only wish to wear specs whenever I want only (for the sake of being good looking!) LOL.. I can’t help myself but sorry to say so, I’m vain! Yes, I do! Wahahaha..;D

Here my treasure in pink! (after all I’m a pink lady so don't call me blue!) =p

p.s. this cool lil specs can turn into dark whenever there is too bright a sun! However it cost me a kick ass pain on the price! ><” (that’s a price to pay for everything good, isn’t it?)

Awwwhhh..I just love this lil piece pretty much though I don’t wear it all the time. But I’m kinda happy to keep this cool ever stuff in my life! (wei 1^st ever specs ler!)

It’s yours glorious ~

2010-11-11T00:10:00.005+08:00

I remembered the last month of this day! It is still clearly planted on my mind! It was the ever happiest day throughout the year. To be honest, two of the 2010 resolutions have been came true! *cheers* It’s all about my hard work yet I never forget to be thankful though. *grins* There were so many of the sleepless nights, there were tears spilled out uncontrollably, there were days that I was lacked of appetite and became skinny and “not-so-nice-looking-face” with panda eyes and bla bla bla.. but it is all worth it now. Perhaps I could turn back and smile to the path of history and feel satisfy!

Additionally, out of my expectations, few of them came true as well! Aww.. what a good year of 2010 is this? *HUGE THANKS* This I truly appreciate! There are thousands of words inside but you know word alone couldn’t explain much of the feeling right now but you will see. =)

After all, I thank HIM for what I have today! Praise lord for sending ya to me (ahem, you know who you are) *winks*

p.s. i'm happy now and very thankful! ^^

Song of the Sea

2010-11-01T16:57:00.000+08:00

p.s. His <3

手放開

2010-10-15T09:48:00.000+08:00

im-balance SELF!

2010-08-25T23:49:00.003+08:00

Thinking too much and it felts so helpless at times;

While making too much of comparison, and it will bri

ng you no ends!

So, not to make comparison else it would never reach a balance end!

There are a lot of things on earth that are not as if 1 + 1 equal to two! That's why difficult! Moreoever i'm poor in math that I don't know the calculation to make me a balance self! ><

How to be happy? How to smile when life makes it so difficult for you? Looking at those pictures, I was indeed a cheer nut the last time! Where am I nowadays? By looking back on my blog posts, most of them seemed to be of "grey" sense of craps.......................... After all, I'm only human and I have feeling too................. I'm tired of hell and I need a shoulder to lean on s0 s0 much!

='( I'm gonna SMILE real hard tonight (I'M GONNA LEARN TO SMILE ALL OVER AGAIN), my heart got bitten up by a FROG! kns*

Hardcore feeling @.@"

2010-08-09T20:21:00.002+08:00

There are a lot of things that couldn’t be expressed by word alone. Although it says that words are used to described on how we felt. Somehow, sometimes, the unspoken words are those words that fit exactly into the “gap”.

I used to not to tell; I used to not to express so well;

I used to not let out and even if I do, I do it indirectly!

Sometimes, is the thinking that stops you from expressing. It’s hard though but I’m lack of words to express the real me into the real world!

It’s the hardcore feeling that hidden inside out,

It’s the insufficient courage that pulls me backward; and

It’s the blur sight of future that keep me pause for a moment!

Dear lord, I knew that we are all been granted the wisdom on head and sweet words on mouth, but when it comes to the time to express/confess and it seemed to be of thousand harder and w.h.y?

p.s. how much I wish that my “heart” could turn out to be visible to the one that I wanted to express so much yet without word.

T.G.I.F

2010-08-06T22:54:00.003+08:00

YaY! Thank God is Friday! I used to “woohoo” for Friday, especially Friday night! But recently, I’ve gone through for so many lonely Friday nights until I felt it’s no longer fun on Friday itself anymore!

What the…

Ladies got to get used of this kind of pain called “menstrual pain” once in every month. So do I? I pray hard next time, really, I don’t wanna be a girl, NO more! It’s more best if I could stay in heaven forever after life.. NO, NO and NO for a human being! ( I love my life though but ONCE is more than enough!) *grins*

What to do on a randomly boring Friday night? Look at my skin, awwwww… I’m growing OLD! (not the figure though) but my skins are all in an urgent state to ask for SOS! They are lack of moisture and worse part, my face! Why la, I’m such a lady who possess a “quarter” age of my life and hormone started to get some changes?! FCK! It’s been few more months ago that I’m facing the world with this kind of skin on face, when is all these gonna stop at time? I’m truly sick of those pigmentations spot, scar, dark circles and pimples and T-zone! Howcome the newly recommended brand of product never cure my little lovely face? =(

Stress? No more after exam! Don’t tell me loneliness cause the ugly skin? Sigh… hence I’ve putted on a whitening face mask that could chilled on my face for about 10 – 20 mins! But then, result after used, I m feeling the same old me, nothing much has change! This mask doesn’t work on me, I’m ugly now @.@’

Other than mask, moisture lotions range, green tea and plain waters, tomatoes are nowadays my big fan! I m eating them almost everyday in a quantity of 12 plus! I guess, I should give time, times. Let’s pray hard for another few more months to get a new “face”! (I’m urgently need a beautiful face in the end of the year, though it’s not my wedding =P but I’m kinda VIP on my best friend’s wedding) This time, I do really need to cross my fingers tight and pray really hard, dear Lord, please heal my “broken” but cheecky face! Toiiiiiiiiiiiiii…………..

GOODNIGHT bloggie, time to SLEEP!! (to have a beautiful skin is to sacrifice the young and beautiful night!)

p.s. The night still young but my skin no longer young! *SIGH*

丘比特的爱

2010-08-03T23:47:00.002+08:00

是这样的吗？

如果是注定了要在一起，

为何，还会有距离的两个人？

唉。。

每当经过那里，都会想起当初的我们！

想起当初，

我的脆弱；

你的坚持。

每每看到那一男一女的坐在那凳椅上，

就看到了我们的影子，

唤起了那一段很凄美的回忆！

还记得当初的我，是个很痴情的爱哭鬼；

然而那时候的你是曾经的那么伟大，

耐心的陪着我度过那一段最孤寂的长夜！

我，是心疼了，

但也被感动了。。

对不起，

我让你收拾了一颗破烂的心。。

可也因此，我看到了那伟大的爱！

然而那一年的圣诞，我没有许愿，

因为，你，所以已经实现了。。

＝〕

如果是决定了的事，

我都会很认真！

如果已经许下了诺言，

我会很单纯的受候着！

只是思念是痛苦的，

偶而眼泪会失控。。

但愿我把所有的思念都变成最贴切的文字，

然后，

通过宇宙，

传到你那儿！

丘比特，

可不可以拿走思念的苦？

可不可以让爱情再甜一点？

可不可以让恋爱没有距离？

可不可以让分开的时间缩短？

人生短短几十年，

您又那忍心看着相爱的人被距离隔离着？

丘比特，

有时候，很认真的人，会很傻，对吗？

完美？

2010-07-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

为什么这个字会存在？是谁制造的？

世界上真的有完美的事物吗？何时何地才可把此字派上用场？

我在想，

有的，

只有完美的想法，

但却没有完美的做法！

有些事，有些人，你很想为他做，你很想见个面，

可是当时因为生活所逼，

你暂时就把它放在以后。。

可惜人，会有多少个“以后”呢？

如果“以后”再也不从来，剩下的只会是遗憾罢了。。

是上天的戏弄？或是有些东东是被注定的了？

明明现在时间，地点，时机对的时候，那个“subject matter”却不在了。。

为什么会这样的不完美？

是我迟到了吗？

或是注定我到不了那一个站？

有些人你明明当时是很爱他的，

可是那时的他却不怎么会去爱你。。

当你放弃了的时候，

他又好像很爱你的死样子！

这，叫做不完美！

可以相爱时，为什么装做不在乎？

可以拥有时，为什么却不珍惜？

可以做到时，为什么不尽力？

然而，等到分离时分，才红了眼眶？

p.s.如果下一站会是幸福的话，

那么，这一站，会不会是我上一站所谓的下一站？

伴与年龄

2010-07-23T21:32:00.000+08:00

人是否到了某种年龄还找不到对象，然后就会荷洱蒙失调，行为怪异？

我，不知道。。

只从身边的“单身汉”言止行为中檫觉到－不对劲！

第一，我遇到了我一直都认为他会是个忠恳的中年男人，行为不会过界，他都懂他应该做与所不该做的事情。。我是一直以来都这么认为着，直到有一天他开始对我不规矩时，我才发现，我错了，妈对了！（人果然在年轻时，会看错人，然而，羌还是老的辣）

第二，这一次是一位与我年龄不相上下的年青男生，我很单纯的相信着，他是一位好男生，这些年来，他都不找对象（是找不到，或是不找，我不知道），只是有一天，我才发现，他一直以来都仰暮着我，虽然做不成情人，我们还是朋友。。我依然单纯的认为我们的友情是真的，他会懂得尊敬我，可是我又错了，他的言语，让我想吐，我不喜欢与不懂尊敬女人的男人为友，他好可恶！

第三，这是一位上了年龄的女性，她好似女强人，工业上样样行，可惜强女大都死在甜言蜜语之下。。那时候的她似呼走火入魔的，还好她并没有 ‘死’ 得很难看！她让我大掉眼睛！

第四，身为中年女人的她，就是遇不到她的真命天子，成天希望做个小女人，希望有天，有个公子会出现，给她全世界最完美的爱！所以她都不懂得怎么样去爱护自己。。

我不懂为什么，或许只有当事人最了解所有的一切！

唉。。人生吗，就真的这样可悲吗？

p.s..要找到一个适合自己，而又有爱情的伴，不容易。。我一直都很感恩他是一个爱我的好人＝〕

然而，还没找到的朋友，不急，请做回自己，神爱世人，有一天您会看到那一扇光，只要有希望，您会找到爱！旦愿我的祷告可以医治您们心里的那一道疤！

Empty in and out ......................

2010-07-08T15:42:00.003+08:00

I've lost ........................

SOMEWHERE

called HELL!

p.s. Now i know who comes to share shit away and who comes only to share the joys!

You know, it's sweet =)

2010-06-16T17:07:00.006+08:00

You know there are some people like this that we called them as "friend"!

They hardly keep in touch with you but they find your updates frequently on the available sources! They are cool indeed! They care about you and they do remember every little updates of your life! Sumtimes, out of a sudden, you will receive their care & concern of such a sweet message to melt your heart, for a moment! Perhaps, they have always keep us on their mind. When it's time to show their concern, and they come just right! =)

Those friends are really care and sweet of them to be by around all the time, especially during tough time, they appeared more than usual! I'm blessed with those kind of good friends all along! They made me smile on day that I thought I'm gonna surrender but NO, their supports come on time, as usual! That's a miracle and it happens!

Thank god I've all of you good friends around and thanks people for your sweet & concern message, and that's enough to get "diabetic" (i don't mind) and *ahem* they spice up my life!

HUGE THANKS

p.s. Only if I could show more, I would love to show you all my "real" heart beat on how I felt when I've received those lovely messages!

StreeeeeeeeeeeeesssssSSSSsss ... ... sQueeeeeeeeeezeeeeEEeeeee!!

2010-06-11T23:20:00.002+08:00

I'm so so sO

STRESS!

BOTH FROM WORKS & STUDIES!

ended up with 3 pieces of Nyonya Kuih as dinner!

p.s. what a friday? :'(

68 - A favourite day to be remembered on this number!

2010-06-08T13:50:00.003+08:00

I..

..supposed it was the day, ya, can't be wrong =) It was the day!

Beautiful memories are mean to be remembered forever. I celebrated this day with a heart of loving and a little "mystery" is to be revealed soon by another matching heart!

I'm out of words, yet thankful still!

p.s. Hopefully I've made up of a sweet memory that is enough to fit into your heart and occupy a little space of your mind! ;)

渐渐懂了。。

2010-06-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

凡是有急事，第一个想到的人绝对不可以是你！

如果，我不小心想起你，那是我的错！

原本会很正常，有急事，应该在脑海中出现的人是你。。

可是我错了。。

同时间，在不以为然之下，

我也变了。。

刚才真的很焦急，

很自然的，第一个想到的就是你，

也因为熟悉了你的 “没感应”，

而打去求救的是给另外一个人。。

我想，

我应该懂了，

在我所找的七个人当中，

唯有你，没有回应，没有声音，没有。。

可笑吧？或是可悲？

对，不能做比较，

因为根本没有得比！

是你，

让我变了，

变得不再执着。。

p.s.今天我学会了一堂课，一堂用金也买不到的课！

这不是。。

2010-05-20T01:19:00.003+08:00

爱情。。

收到的讯息，看过就算了；

说过的承诺，说了就忘；

温馨的问候，不懂；

真心的表达，不会；

如果是这样，还会有爱情吗？

不是每一段感情，都要等他人付出后，才付还；

这不是爱情！

更槽的是，对别人的付出，没有感应，

这根本不是爱情。。

那一颗心，直到现在，才发现原来是

多么多余的，

那么的不真贵！

不会被珍惜的爱，是死的。。

在这爱与不爱的界线中，

没有能力再爱下去了。。

一个人在谈恋爱，还算是爱吗？

累，很累，

不想再爱了。。

不哭不闹不说，是心已死绝。。

p.s.如果没有真爱，一个人走就好！

Way to the Wedding hall...

2010-05-13T15:31:00.002+08:00

Since young, I love drawing the bride and the gown! I did drew a few of my own design gowns when I was still very young and I remembered, my cousin sis, the one who taught me to draw a bride’s gown!

I was impressed by her drawing plus my own imagination, hence I came out of my own design too. (kids’ world) Unfortunately, I am not on a design field now, but my hope and dreams are still there in the “wedding” gown’s world! Who knows, maybe one day, I might go back! =)

I love weddings definitely! I love seeing everyone’s happy face and I enjoy the ambience of sweet romance in the hall of wedding and I would be glad to see the blissfulness that shined upon the faces of the couple! After all, it’s all about a very happy moment that no one can deny that!

I’m holding on the faith to believe in true love

However, reality in life proved me wrong for thousand of time, I should come back to the real world and not be living in a wonderful world of my own. I’ve lost some bit of my faith and I’m scare to commit anymore. The more I grew, the more I realized I am wrong on the concept of a marriage. It’s not as much blissful as what I can imagine, not for the photo, neither on the wedding! That’s hurt!

Come to my own experiences. As we always said we love a person for who they are. Somehow, it is not as easy as a saying could do. We should understand that the two peoples are brought up from a different families and background, hence some customs, culture, style of living and many other more just couldn’t “click” into a 100% perfect picture. How then?

To reach a compromise is tough! The two different “alien” have to take effort to change a little, here and there, so that to work out together. In the stage of staying together and if one of them failed to compromise, and this is for sure, no matter how strong is the love in within the two, it will die soon.

Never take your love one for granted

A lot of us used to forget what is care and concern, when we can easily reach each other in a daily life. We thought that, why should we care so much since they have the ability to move around, they wouldn't get starve and the capability to handle themselves well? But have you ever ask yourself, why would you care so much when they are yet to be your girlfriend/boyfriend? Don’t you tell me, that time, they don’t own a pair of hands and legs and they have no brain? It doesn’t make sense right?

For all the time, we used to have that someone by our side yet we’ve forgot to remembered that if we don’t appreciate the love & efforts done and someday somebody might go for others too. So never take your love ones for granted. This is a very serious “offence” in a marriage!

Don’t cry, babe!

I remember there is a saying, “someone who truly love you will never make you cry!” This is so true for my first instance. However, I realized we only cry for our love ones! We love, that’s why we care so much to be hurt! You won’t hurt so much if a someone who you don’t care come and pour shit on you, isn’t it? Same theory applied. That’s why it's so true on that saying!A person who truly loves you won’t make you cry out of sadness!

A girl cries because of a guy who she truly loves hurt her deeply and you said u felt so heart pain on the girl. While when you see your girlfriend cries when you’re hurting her, you scolded her disgusting! What the.. ?! This is because human can hardly realized own mistake but for others, they can see clearly! So ironical, isn’t it?

If you cry too hard for a relationship, just go! We don’t use tears to build a relationship but a pure love do. If that person can never be the right one, why drag? It is like playing a sweet melody to a bull, make sense?

I’m still here because of I love you

Because of us are all living in a modern world today that we can have our choices of love. We pick the one that we love and the one that who loves us back. In short, the love birds that tight to each other. Since we love each other, so what problem then?

Only if we learn to be more understanding, to have a matured mind on head and a heart of concerned, everything would be seemed so perfect! Yes, ONLY IF we understood what is it about commitment, and we could survive our love!

Since, you’re my chosen one, I love you and I would try hard to mend myself and there’s a light hope deep inside me to wish that you could compromise a bit and please understand that I am only human (gal) too, that sometimes, I’m such an emo. Please forgive me like I understand that you’re the man and have a role to play in the relationship as well.

Married someone who you truly love and you think he/she is the right one ONLY

Marry a person not because of you have the urge of getting marry. Not because of an age matter. Not because of your friends are all getting married and you followed too. And BIG NO to because of a wedding gown!!

Sometimes, it’s the cruel fact that stops us from marrying a person that we truly in love with. (due to a lot of unwanted reasons) However, a RIGHT person could be the one who you will love until to the end of your life. He/she is the one who could make your life right and wonderful and he/she is the one who are willing to hold you forever in the rest of your life! They have love you enough for you to have love them back! That's right!

So marry a RIGHT person only and the love will never die! Your right one could assure you with security, care and love on mouth and he is definitely going to prove you by action! Action always speaks louder than word. If no word, no action means he is the wrong guy. Let the wrong one go before the new one can come in. (remember)

If he is the wrong one. Let go!
If he is the right one. Grab him!
If you're still haven’t get one, pray for a RIGHT one to come! ^^

p.s. If only there is a blessed wedding, there is a stairway to heaven! If only I’ve met the so called Mr.Right, would I wear on the wedding gown!

A mother's love!

2010-05-10T17:21:00.002+08:00

What else on earth can take to compare with a mother's love? Yet, I never forget to appreciate that I have a great mum on earth, that her love is unconditional toward us, and we can thank her not much other than being her good grade children!

I went back purposely for Mother's Day and Daddy's Birthday.. yet i feel not long enough to stay home =( so poor life and i have had so little time for my lovely parent!

I felt like crying again when I was at the airport, they were there sending me off and useless me can't even look my mum into her eyes and greet Happy Mother's Day!! I greet her while i was about going off but I never have the gut to look into her eyes! I was about to cry yet I hold the tear (to avoid the customs people for asking further). Mum and dad, please forgive me that i have to go, though deep down inside me, there are thousand of reluctance.. sigh, life!

I LOVE YOU, MOM & DAD!!

P.S. to be continued soon ltr, however word alone could not say all in within my heart! :'(

弱寞的角落

2010-05-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

两个人，不容易；

一个人，很难过！

心在想，这么多年以来，她是怎样过的？

我不得不佩服她。。是神与她同在吗？

心想：是吧！她都很乐观，她所受的苦，不会比别人少；

与她相比，我是个无能！

心很伤，

心灵很累，

想念是如此痛苦。。

失望是如此的灰。。

还有多长的路可一走？

还有多少的时间去珍惜？

我不知道，

只知道，这次却再也流不出眼泪来了。。

很不像我，

我，

并没有想像中的坚强！

我恨这种感觉，

我害怕。。不能。。唉。。

还有三天的时间，

去肯定一些的不肯定。。

神，

我知道，您的双手已医治我，

我不是不相信，

只是我的不好，我还是很害怕被否定。。

我很想念，想念每一个我爱及爱我的人。。

怎么可能就这样。。舍得？

可是不可以这样自私。。

我，已经尽力的不去打揉每一个关心我的人。。

我，已经尽力的埋头苦读。。

我，也已经尽力去想好的，

如果我还是做不到，

请您原谅我，

好吗？

我，说过，我不会放弃！

p.s.有个人，很难过；一个人，更难过；然而埋头苦都的日子－不好过！！

An eye that watched over us!

2010-04-19T16:31:00.003+08:00

I'm tired yet i'm filled with happiness!

I'm happy when i knowing that u'r there with me; while i might be melting when your soul is physically with me!

There is a saying that, we all work hard because of an eye that watches over us! Yes, we work hard because of that beautiful sight that shine upon us! Because of that, everywhere we go we walk with the little motivation hidden behind! Hence no matter how tired is our body, we will keep up the strength and reach thru to the ultimate aim!

You know right, you're like the pair of eyes that shine upon my life! Because of your sight on me, I'm doing well right now and whenever I feel like giving up, your "winks" raise me up again and again! =)

Oh, that's how great you are in my life! A pair of eyes that watch me forever, and to make sure I can never fall again and you never fail me by closing up your beautiful eyes!

p.s. thank you for being my guardian angel on earth! ;) once again, i'm blessed!

值得等待的，就要坚持！

2010-04-14T21:50:00.002+08:00

一个人的空间，耳根很清静，也很孤寂。。

我想人生总会有不完美，只要懂得知足就好！

很多事情是早已注定的了，上天有所安排，而我总是恋上有距离的爱情。。

生活，好无奈，

我老早就已经知道爱情绝不可能只可以饮水饱。。

我知道，为了生活，有时候爱情是要被牺牲的。。

所以，我们才会很无奈！

如果没有面包，哪来会有爱情的幸福？

这一切的一切我都明了。。

我没有埋怨，也没有难为你。。

你何况也不是像我一样的难过？

我都察觉到，不想加重你的负担，

你也别担心，我会永远在那儿守候着。。

是真的，只要你相信。。只要你肯定，我是会做得到的！

我的忧，我的伤，总是难免的。。

思念是一种苦，我相信你也偿试过。。

难熬的才叫做考验，不是吗？

我们的付出，不会浪费，

等待着一个很爱的人，也是一种幸福！

就因为知道每一次的相聚不容易，

所以才会特别的期待，也很珍惜。。

这个福份不是每个人都享有的。。

知道吗？

除了珍惜，除了感恩，除了有时候控制不了的眼泪。。

生活还是可以一样开开心心的过，

因为你知道，当没有机会见面的时候，

有个人在想你。。

那一个人不管有多忙，都会想你，

那，还会有什么理由去难过呢？？

p.s.就把我当做是个汪汪好了，除非主人不要我，要不然打死我都不走！=P

會呼吸的痛

2010-04-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

凡事往好的方面去想，或许会更好！

2010-04-09T21:35:00.002+08:00

从朋友那儿听说，妈妈说我是个很会想的孩子！

噢。。她是在说我乖巧，还是我是真的什么东东都想多了，或是我很会胡思乱想？？

满脑子的问号，反正我就是喜欢挑战我的“脑”。。有好也有它的不好。。

所谓脑，如果不用来“想”，那是用来做什么的？

嘻！但就只有想好的东西，那才不会滥用上天所赐给我们的脑！＝〕

如果有得选择只有快乐的话，我相信没有任何一个人会去伤心。。

都怪我不懂得知足，越幸福的时候就会越害怕幸福就将快要结束！

我好感谢上帝赐予我身边的好人，我都好爱他们！

不要让我选，因为每一个选择，我都好不舍得。。

我要的是，陪同您们一起，到老！

上帝创造奇迹，他爱我们，他不会让我们走上绝路！

当你告诉我会没事的那一刻，我知道你比任何人都难过。。

所以如果我流泪是因为我心疼你的痛，而不是我悲观。。

如果说，没有害怕，那是骗人的。。

但是我有你，有家人，有好友们，爱我的人都在，

我还害怕什么？＝〕

听说过吗？一笑治百病！

所有看过我的人都知道我爱笑，所以我会好起来的！

嗯好想念的Mocha!!

像它这样的微笑，永远都开开心心。。

你也笑一个吧，好么？

p.s.只要珍惜当下，我们就不会有遗憾！

The Road Not TAKEN !

2010-03-31T17:26:00.000+08:00

It’s been a blessing since the beginning of the year. It’s been really a good sign for a good start hence!

I’ve received so many calls regarding vacancy wanted but I was pondering still. Why? My resume had been up there for the two freaking years yet now only it rings on my door step? ( I supposed is the year of working experiences that asking them to ring me?) Plus the business calls from the outside people, looking for opportunity and targeted on a “hungry” person like me.. I’m a bit of excited that opportunity coming its way yet I’m scare to lose nowhere if anything goes wrong! I’m really happy to see my schedule pack of appointment and stuffs, but then will I be too greedy to reach no end?

While I am enjoying my current job and good relationship with the company, there are so much out there to “persuade” me to SKIP to the other firm. I was so tempting to go but I have a really good boss here, and should I dump everything and just go?

I heard, people said, you’re still young and you should exposed yourself more instead of sticking to the same old company and improve no more. Yes, that’s what exactly my mind thought too. I should gain more experience than to always involve myself in one particular matter/field only.

However, boss is good. At this stage, I couldn’t afford to lose out time for studies. Who will be the so kind of a boss to allow you to study and work at the same time? Who will be granting leave whenever I have school matters to deal. Where’s on earth I could find such a super good boss?

To work in a small company like this, though I couldn’t improve much but there is time for studying. While I may not forever be in this position, and why would I need to gain so much of experience in the other field as in to the different legal department?

In the other way round, I perhaps should gain more experience in order to self-raise value, at least my minimum pay is there already and in the future my pay wouldn’t be lower than this as expected.

Perhaps I am experienced in working and qualified in academic after all I am studying plus working at the same time. No lose! The only thing is whether could I really cope with a more challenging job scope? I’m very itchy on head now as I am doubt at the current stage! WHAT TO DO? WHAT SHALL I DO?

I’m itchy in heart too. Due to my heavy commitments, if there is a better offer and why not??

I am a little bit confused and lack of confidence. Either way, will it leads me to the end?

Post reserved!

2010-03-30T19:15:00.002+08:00

Post reserved for a beautiful travel experience in the island on the corner of the earth!

p.s. currently no time and energy to boost for a beautiful wording for such a beautiful experience, hence, time to get back when the author is fully "complete"!

Give me time, time and more time please! While i never forget to give time, time as well =)

Hanging there.. ^^

A wonderful moment that had happened!

2010-03-26T22:53:00.014+08:00

As life is not as simple as the 4 alphabets (L.I.F.E) could describe them to be. So it is a tough one, neither you and I, have an easy life in brief! I was busy and am busying still. I don’t know whether what I am doing now would secure me for a better future, but it’s obviously I’m doing the right thing! However, good habit (to write) need to be insisted on, and no matter how busy I am, I’ll definitely spare out some “precious” time to jot down a little here, that’s my interest of living, perhaps =)

No matter how tight is my schedule and pack on brain, I am keeping that memorable piece of memories on head! I love seeing our pics and laugh out loud myself or sometimes a little smiling on face, alone in my room! Perhaps, it helped to relieve a bit when I was almost bursting!

I remembered in that early morning, we woke up real early in order to catch the flight on time! I was happily sat like a blissful princess in the car looking out for the sky and birds and trees along the road. I trusted you for your driving skill and you should know that I always feel safe whenever you are there by my side! At that moment, I prayed secretly inside me, prayed for a safe journey for the both of us and prayed that I’m of so much blessed to have you in my life that I told Lord, all the times, I appreciate what have been given me and I truly love this guy!

I smiled but you wouldn’t have any idea on yet you smiled too! You don’t know the conversation between me and the Lord! But you’re the type of happy go lucky guy, thus you always smile! I believe my sincere piece of heart will guide you through all our sacred conversations and you will be joining us one day in our conversation too! =) The heart that has love makes everything possible!

I remembered u left me for Q-ing alone after a short message, I was a bit worried yet I never thought that you’re such a thoughtful person that you went and buy a mini keylock for my luggage as promised! It’s so sweet and it melted my heart. Though it's just a "tiny" act but a very genuine one is more than enough!

Few hours later, we have arrived on another land! That’s my birthday on that day, you never know how excited I was! I kept that expression in secret!(My bad, again I am too CHINESE) But I really love being on that island! I felt like shouting out loud but I controlled.. My dream(in 2 yrs back) had been fulfilled and you’re the one that make it come true! HUGE thanks to you, really! I don’t blame you on no birthday cake because all these are too priceless to own! I’m happy! Hey it was on my birthday hence I had the whole day to make wish for! Lol, I m such a “kia su” gal!

The birthday and the holidays in Bali were of great fun! That’s the true happiness that we could hardly enjoy when came back to the reality! The two pisces would really put aside rubbish and enjoyed to the max for the short vacation! I’m satisfied though there’s some comment on but you should know that I am such an opinioned gal that you’ve fall for the first time. I wouldn’t “zip” my mouth for something that I am able to air out, sorry dear! But mouth that keeps quiet is not fun, you admit it! Hiak hiak.. till then I tried to cut down my noisiness! Eh, I tried, ok?

This, the "landmark" pic of us that I love! ---> that captured by Oka - our personal tour-guide & local friend!

p.s. This is all about the thanks-giving post especially dedicated to my beloved! Further details regarding the places itself, Balinese meals and local activities on the island will be posting soon on da next post!

Word could be the sword that breaks no bone but hearts!

2010-03-16T22:46:00.006+08:00

Is it human natural instinct to judge people by their own sense, own sight and own point of view? If yes, is it fair to do so by their blessed mouth?

Why is that’s so easy for us to judge others but not ourselves?

It’s easy to say but it’s not easy to do. Even if something that appeared on eye sight and it couldn’t be true, perhaps not all the time.

It’s easy to speak up but it’s never easy for us to understand how others really felt.

Sometimes words spoken, the consequences are unbearable!

Words that are hurtful they break heart, but it makes no noise neither bleed!

We are all blessed with a mouth that can air out and we should talk wisely, speak when it is right and delivering message in a good proper way of saying so that we won’t “accidentally” kill some soul with good intention on head!

What’s on yr head when you are looking at this picture below?

Is it a puppy? Or is it a banana? Or is it a banana-puppy?

The fact is always the fact but we are all human that have different thinking and perception that can come out with thousand of genius idea regarding the picture shown. It is up to us to judge but the undeniable fact is, it is what it is and not what we judge it is. =)

It feels the pain only when you got bitten up, so be very careful on “speech” today onwards (on WORD) It’s not fair to hurt someone with a blessing mouth!

p.s. It’s a “skill” to talk and I’m learning still! I’m very SORRY if I had ever hurt you by my blessed “sword” – pardon me!

Your day to remember!

2010-02-25T00:40:00.001+08:00

Both to a different direction >.<'

2010-02-24T01:36:00.003+08:00

Mind and heart, both are not working well!

Mind cheats while heart is not!

My mind persuade myself to be happy yet my heart is telling I cannot fake my smile away!

However, I've promised myself not to shed tears over a thing that don't worth it.. let it go let it go.. *fu** off*

p.s. TIME would be the painkiller of the "T.R.U.H" (backward)